There are some certain days in life where your head is filled with a million things which are simply less important but does a major unrest to the heart, days where nothing seems to charm you up.
In simple words, days where you feel so low in life. Today, has been one of those days in my life. A miserable one.
A couple of pages was left to be finished from the book I was reading (And the mountains echoed) by Khaled Hosseini. As soon as I finish this, I’ll start with Lolita, I thought and eyed Lolita perfectly perched on the shelf.
All of a sudden, a cloud started to hover around my heart. Instantly, a million things started to pop up in my head. I pondered over the purpose of my life, the current juncture in my life, where am I heading to? Oh, just the thought of it made me sick.
At 27, I’ve a perfect roof on my head, a job I like, a car i own and independence, yet I feel a hollow creeping deep inside me. What’s that hollow exactly? I went to bed with these thoughts last night.
I couldn’t sleep well. It gnawed me time and again. My head started to hurt. I closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep. Am I over thinking? I don’t know.
With a heavy head, as if from a bad hangover, I woke up late and rushed to office. But the feelings from last night had lingered on like a bad cologne. My heart was still cloudy from the night before’s thoughts.
I tried to concentrate in my work but it was all in vanity. As the day rolled on, the cloud thickened.
It became worse.
I was not able to think straight. My appetite was lost like I was heartbroken.
This feeling did not leave me at all. It clung unto like a shadow.
I hope for these thoughts to pass. That feeling as if I have just lost my best friend.
As if drunk in opium, my head felt hazy all day long. I longed for that peace of mind. But I couldn’t exactly define that meaning of peace.
Soon the day gave way to dusk.
At home,I prepared a hot ginger milk tea, sat down and poured down these thoughts in my journal.
God, it has been so long since I last wrote a entry in a journal.
Writing this down has definitely been a liberating feeling. This could have been that void I was feeling and meaning to fill. Perhaps.
Have you ever felt that way?
Do you feel that sometimes?
Is it perfectly normal? I truly hope so.
Cheer up Rekha! Just think, this too, shall pass. We, as women, often feels moody. But I'm sure it won't last long. Especially after you poured your feeling down into your journal. That's what I always do too when something bothers my mind. Don't worry, you will feel better soon :) Enjoy your weekend! Tcr!
ReplyDeleteYes this too shall pass!
DeleteA new day is always so much better with new hopes and thoughts.
Thank you so much for the nice comment, I feel much better :) \
Much appreciated.
It's definitely a normal feeling, I think it's one we all get every so often! Tomorrow is a new day and you'll figure everything out when you're supposed to <3
ReplyDeleteJennie xo | sailorjennie.com
Aww you are too kind with words. Thanks a lot, I need it. :)
DeleteU r a beautiful lady and quite a brain in writing too. Many don't have that. Therefore, feel good abt it. Those are fleeting moments which come to us reminding we are not enlightened beings and that we are humans possessing intelligence can make us suffer too. U will be wise from now.
ReplyDeleteVery true, we are not enlightened beings and that we are humans which leads us to suffer. I shall remind myself.
DeleteThank you for your wisdom of encouragement. Much appreciated.
That empty feeling-I have felt it too. Many a times and the feeling is never a good one. I suppose.
ReplyDeleteHappy that I'm not alone in this. Yes its the worst of the feelings...
DeleteWhat a nice piece, Rekhaji... Very poetic and romantic. Thanks for sharing your beautiful experience. Well expressed. Keep posting hai!
ReplyDelete